I went to a funeral last week. Not someone I knew well, but someone who had casually been in my life for over 15 years.
The rabbi who presided over his services said many kind things. He beautifully eulogized his friend, for they were close friends, creating images not only of the man who had been ‘severed from us,’ but also of the emotions that we were experiencing now (and those we experience whenever someone is taken from us). I was moved by the tenderness of his words, and my heart cried when the rabbi choked up talking about our friend. The rabbi said that we should look at our friend’s death and learn from it how to live our lives.
What a glorious message.
I’ve been thinking about this ever since. And I’ve been thinking about the people that I’ve lost. But more importantly I’ve been thinking about the people who are in my life today, living and breathing, and a phone call away.
My friend who just died was authentic. That’s what I would say the lesson of his life was. He was exactly what you saw and experienced. He said what he had to say, he loved life and showed it, he was passionate about his opinions, and he loved people. He was himself. It never occurred to me to wonder who he was. I just knew.
There are many people in my life that I don’t have to wonder about, and for that I am blessed. They are good friends, important threads in the fabric of who I am. I am not waiting for a future date to learn from their lives. My life is rich, and I’d like to think that I’m a better person, because I try to live by the truths that they share.
I have a friend that I don’t’ see often enough, but when I do, I am reminded that having fun, being spontaneous, and laughing a lot are essential. I have several friends committed to helping people and serving the community. They are shining examples of how to make a difference. Another friend reminds me that you can have effortless grace even when you might feel a bit frazzled, and yet another amazes me with her self-honesty. I could go on and on.
I miss my friend who recently passed and am sorry that I didn’t tell him what it was about his life that I admired. But it’s not too late to thank so many and let them know that I’m trying to pay it forward. I better get busy.
